In relationship everybody has an idea of the kind of person they want depending on the motive for the relationship. Your motive for the relationship largely influences what you do with your partner. If the motive is marriage, it is okay to look for Mr Right or Miss Right. Unfortunately, singles also sort for Mr Right or Miss Right even for casual, platonic and ‘’sextonic’’relationships. A casual relationship is a relationship just for adventure or pleasure with no intention for any serious or purposeful relationship. A platonic relationship is one where there are no sex or intention for sex especially for spiritual reasons. It is not wrong to seek for Mr Right or Miss Right for this kind of relationship. A ‘sextonic’ relationship is one where sex is the original intention of either or both parties concerned. So, if someone is saying to you that he or she is looking for Mr or Miss Right, you need to know what the motive for the relationship is. Ofcourse, everyone will appear good and suitable but if you are patient and watchful the original intention will be known as time passes by.
Hence, my intention in this write-up is Mr or Miss Right for Marriage. I need to clarify that. Mr or Miss Right is somebody that you percieve as suitable for marriage. He or she is somebody that you would love to live the rest of your life with in a blissful marriage. He or she should be somebody that your Maker has planned for you to marry. You will know if he or she is ordained by your maker when you enquire from Him. The God of the Bible is a speaking God and He speaks in many ways to His children.
Mr or Miss Right is relative. The fact that a relationship you were involved in did not work out does not mean the person was Mr or Miss wrong. Every shoe has got a size. That a shoe did not fit your leg does not mean the shoe is a wrong shoe. It definitely will fit someone else’s. That your relationship with somebody did not work out does not mean he or she will not find someone else that is suitable and it also does not mean you will not find a suitable person somewhere.
FACTORS THAT INFLUENCES CHOICE OF MR OR MISS RIGHT:
Like I wrote earlier, different people have different motive for relationship. Some of the factors that can influence choice of Mr or Miss Right are;
- Expectation fuelled or inspired by taste, exposure in life and experience.
- Parental or family influence
- Peer Influence
- Pastor or spiritual figure influence
None of the above can help you choose accurately outside of God. Yes, God can speak to us through anybody but still check with your Maker on your own.
HOW TO IDENTIFY MR RIGHT OR MISS RIGHT
- Discover yourself first- Know the kind of person you are in order to know the kind of person you walk with for the rest of your life. Your vocation/career, personalty trait and Life vision and purpose will help you to choose a suitable partner. It will amount to a goose chase to seek for Mr or Miss Right when you have not discovered yourself. As you seek the right person for marriage, are you also the right person?
- The concept of 3 c’s- Container, Content and Character- Most people are attracted by the physical attributes of the person than by the innate (visible or invisible) attributes of the person. What is important is for you to look at the habit and character of the person than choose based on the physical attributes of the person. Do you know the person’s personalty trait? Is she an introvert as you are or both of you are extrovert?
- Identify the potentials in the person. Not all the people married to Managing Directors of big organisations, Governors or Presidents knew with certainty their spouses will achieve that feat but they just considered the potentials in the person. Who the person will be is more important than who the person is today.
- How complimentary are the two of you? Your Mr or Miss Right should not be a competitor but a ”complimentor”!
- What are his or her values? Your values are not likely to be the same if both of you are not of the same faith, religious and ethnic background.
- What are his or her cultural and traditional background? The Yorubas in the South West part of Nigeria prostrate to greet their elders and parents but not so with other ethnic groups in Nigeria. If he or she is an American, Chinese or from anywhere in the world do both of you understand the peculiarities of your different background?
- What are his or her likes? If he or she is a club person and you are a church person, how can both you work together without conflict?
- Do you like his or her profession or vocation? If he or she is a musician, do you like to marry a musician? If he or she is a pilot or air hostess or air host, do you mind? If you marry the person, will you marry the person’s profession
- Do you love the person? Apart from physical attributes and or material possession what else is attracting you in the person?
- Can you live with the person for the rest of your life come rain come shine?
- How stable is he or she emotionally, financially and spiritually?
- How is his or her family? Have you accepted his or her family? Have they accepted you? Family members influences cannot be ruled out in this part of world and you must wake up to the reality of that!
- What is the medical status of both of you? What are your genotypes and HIV status? Are both of you medically compatible?
- Is there any soul ties somewhere? If you don’t break your soul ties, your soul tie can tie you down emotionally! You are with John but your mind is with James. You are with Jane but your heart is with Juliet!
By the time you are dawn with answering above questions honestly, you should have an idea of your Mr Right or Miss Right when you see one!