As a single lady, if your experience has been that married men chase you more than single guys, you got to watch it. It got more spiritual and physical implication. However, we are not looking at the spiritual aspect of it here now. As a married woman if your experience has been that your husband has been chasing single ladies and you are at a dilemma as to why he does that, today, you will know why.
This interesting subject will have 3 parts; 1. Why do married men chase single ladies? 2. Why do married women chase single guys? 3. Why do singles chase the married? In this write up, we will be looking at why married men chase single ladies. Other parts will come later.
First, ladies (both singles and married) need to know certain basic things about the nature of men. Generally, all men like the opposite sex, like the opposite sex too. They like them for various reasons. Some for good and Godly reasons and many for fleshly and selfish reasons. There are 2 Kinds of men;
- Men with self control– These ones know which boundary they ought to cross and which they must not cross. They know it is only their wives they should go to for sex and sexual pleasure.They have the fear of God, morals and a sense of decency. A man (or woman) that cannot control himself (or herself) will not be a good manager of others. If you cannot manage yourself you cannot manage others!
- Men without self control– These ones don’t know which boundary not to cross. They do anything in skirt. They are the kind of men that molest baby girls, teenagers, househelps, cooks, nannies e.t.c e.t.c They are men who crave and seek “unlimited fun”, “enjoyment” and “satisfaction” regardless of its price or cost!
There are many reasons why married men chase single ladies, some of which are;
- Lack of satisfaction from their wives. When a man is not satisfied by his wife, he can stray into the hand of a willingly single lady that can ‘do better’. These satisfaction may be in terms of sex, sexual pleasures and or money. There are rich single ladies who really just want married men just for the fun of ‘filling the gap’ while they await their prince!
- Poor sex habit– If you are a married woman who is in the habit of denying your husband sex on many valid and flimsy excuses, you are courting a very BIG trouble. If you are in the habit of not spicying up your marital sex life with fun, foreplay and styles, you make sex boring and very uninteresting for your spouse. Some men really never wanted to seek sex or sexual pleasure outside their home but you selfish and myopic married women drive them out. The Bible says;
“Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body…………..”
1 Corinthians 7 Vs 3
Generally for most married women, 3 things affect sex; 1. Timing. If the timing is not right, you would have a bad sex! How do you want good sex from your wife when she is a staff of a company (that is if she works), a cook, a nanny, a drycleaner, a wife and a mother? 2. Women are generally emotional being. If she is turned off emotionally, most likely you will have a bad sex. 3. Previous poor sex– If you are a husband that is in the habit of ejaculating within 2 seconds, your wife won’t look forward to a pleasurable sex with you!
- Insatiable sexual Appetite- There are men whose sexual appetite is insatiable by one woman. God did not create them so but they cultivated this habit by their lifestyle. Most men who keep scores of girlfriend when single find it hard to stay with one woman in marriage. Some of these men think polygamy is the answer but polygamy is not the solution to insatiable sexual appetite. It is a habit that is driven by the twin forces of lust and greed. You need serious prayers and deliverance from this habit if you are one!
- Wive’s poor keeping fit habit– Your husband was attracted to you primarily because of your physical attributes before other attributes. If you neglect that part of you, he may stray into the hand of a single lady that is fit, trendy and sexy. Being busy with domestic chores and children is not a valid excuse not to keep fit. After child birth you may add weight as is common with women but endeavour to keep your shape. Your breast need not fall because you have become a nursing mother. Wear the right size of bra. Most women don’t wear the right bra because they don’t know and never bothered to know. Regular exercise, going to the gym can really help!
- Wive’s poor hygiene habit– In a weekend daily some weeks back, I saw a screaming headline of a complain by a married man which say; “My wife smells like rotten potatoe”. It sounds funny, isn’t it but its not fun at all. Endeavour to maintain good hygiene habit. Your kitchen, your home, generally, your body are treasuries of attracting your husband and keeping him at home. If you are over burdened with work; career, business, travels etc, get a househelp to assist in that area so that you can take time to take care of your body; Your mouth, your armpit, your hair, your nails, your breast, your inner most private require adequate care, please do take care of them! If you have body odour, endeavour to wash ALL WASHABLES as often as possible. Use good smelling perfume. Change your sanitary pads as often as possible during your period. Your husband is the closest person to you and these things can turn him totally off from you!
If you are a man who love to chase single girls, you are engaging in adultery. Adultery is costly. It will cost you time, money, energy, your marriage and your life. God frowns at adultery and you cannot make heaven if you continue to indulge in adultery except you change! So, how do I stop chasing single girls? Simply;
- Identify the major attraction for you in adultery and see how you can get same satisfaction from your Spouse.
- Marriage is like computer, if you gabbage in, you gabbage out. What you get from your spouse is a reflection of what you have done in times past! You cannot get heavenly experience when you have created hell at home!!
- Reconcile with your Maker (God), reconcile with your wife and be commited to a new beginning
- Amicably and politely disengage from these ladies that you have entagled with. No more calls, no more bbm chat, no more sms. Live them, go and sin no more!
And you wives, do the necessary adjustment that is applicable to you in this write-up and do the following;
- With prayers, patience and love win back your husband.
- With wisdom you can win your husband.
- Be his friend and you would disarm him. It is not advisable that you throw tantrum and drive your husband further away from home. If you do so, you help the dream of your “competitors” to come to reality.
- Two wrongs can never make a right. If your spouse is wayward, you cannot win him back by engaging in similar atrocities as he does!
Friends, God did not create the institution of marriage for mankind to endure. He created it because He wants to birth heaven on earth. Satan is resisting the institution everyday and your actions and my actions will either make satan a winner or a looser. Don’t make satan a winner because Jesus already won the war when He said; “IT IS FINISHED”
God will deliver you and your marriage from strange women and men!
Till I come your way again, I remain
Adegboyega is a life coach, a relationship counsellor, a writer and an author of published christian books on relationship , prosperity and victorious christian living. You can follow him on twitter, facebook and this blog