After doing the write-ups; WHY MARRIED MEN CHASE SINGLE LADIES and WHY MARRIED WOMEN CHASE SINGLE GUYS, I had promised to do the above but I have not been able to. At some point I even forgot I made the promise earlier, so you have it now.
A single lady is any lady that is not married but obviously ripe for marriage. A married man is any man who is married to a lady (or more women if he is polygamous). This definition is important because of the abberrations in relationships now that we have homosexual relationship on the increase. I will be doing a write-up on that phenomenon soon.
Single ladies chase married men for many reasons, among which are;
- The desperate desire for money and material things
- Desperate desire for position or promotion
- Inherited lifestyle from their parents
- Desire to belong to a class in society
- Desire to achieve a specific target
- Adventure and fun
- As stop gap relationship
- To escape poverty
- Peer Pressure
Whatever reason you have for chasing a married man, I want you to remember the law of sowing and reaping. That law is a fundamental law of God and of nature that you cannot pray away no matter how anointed you are or how anointed the person praying for you may be. You cannot sow cocoyam and expect to harvest water yam. What you sow is what you get.
If you date a married man, you are sowing an evil seed for your future and you need to remember that when the farmer plants for instance maize, it is usually a seed that is planted but at harvest, the harvest is normally more than the seed sowed. When the harvest of other people’s men you have dated come, the harvest will be more than the sinful seed that you have sowed.
SEE THE HARVEST THAT IS LIKELY TO COME
After you have dated other people’s husbands, see the harvest that will come your way;
- What you did to other wives, someone else will do same or more to you and you will be deprived of the time and resources that your husband ought to spend with you. Your innocent children will partake of the fruits of your lifestyle when their father has been taken by another woman. That is if you have marriage as an agenda in life anyway!
- You could catch an incurable disease in the process if you don’t repent.
- You cannot continue to break the laws of God and expect to be fruitful and blesssed.
- If at the point of death you are yet to repent, you miss eternity in God which is the biggest gift that Jesus died for. It is better to spend eternity in heaven than to spend it in hell!!
CANDID ADVISE TO LADIES SEEING MARRIED MEN
You need to understand that you cannot eat your cake and have it. The time you have spent with these married men is the same time you could have spent on a functional and purposeful relationship with a single guy. Has your life been better for it since you started dating a man that is not yours. You have been a thief when you could easily have your own. Thieves don’t have rest of mind that is why you are never at peace. Whatever is the motivation for the relationship in the first place, it is high time you wake up from your sinful lifestyle. By the way what assurance do you have that it is only you and his wife that he is seeing? Yes, he is giving you things. He is giving you things (and perhaps money) so that he can continue to use you to meet his insatiable sexual appetite. Yes, that is it. You are a sex object! But I need to let you know that there is more to your life than being a sex object. Be motivated by upwardly mobile and successful ladies in the society where you live. Most of them worked hard and smart to get to where they are. The dignity of a woman is enhanced in how she carries herself and what she does for a living. Dating married men and sleeping around diminishes you. And I am interested in what will add value to you. Hence the reason I am writing this personally to you.
Wake up Babe! Wake up from your filth and smell the coffee. Its a new day and God is waiting to receive you back!
SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY TO MEN ENTANGLED TO SINGLE LADIES?
Yes, it takes two to tango as the saying goes. The initiative for relationship may come from the single lady and it may come from the married man. Whichever way it comes, men and women generally like adventure. I also like adventure but I consider the cost of the adventure before looking at the pleasure derivable from the adventure. I like the adventure of reading nice, educative and informative books, the adventure of watching a nice movie and indeed writing on varieties of things for the benefit of humanity. I also relish the adventure of networking and meeting progessive minded people at different speaking engagements and at different forum. And if I have the time, the means and the reason, I like to travel and that gives me a wide varieties of fun. Where you get adventure or fun does not have to be sinful. If it is sinful, it means it is against God’s instruction. Whatever is against God’s instruction is not good for you and I otherwise God would have allowed it.
To a married person, the cost of adultery is unquantifiable. It is too costly a price to pay. The time and money you ought to spend with and on your family is wasted on a lady (or ladies) of easy virtue that the relationship cannot profit you in anyway. The memories you ought to create with your family is not created because you just must lie to keep dates with your partners in crime on the road to perdition. I pray you don’t perish on this destructive path. A destructive path can never ever bring about a happy ending! Oh yes, I am just doing it for now, later I will stop. Stop when? When is later? Who told you you will even live to see the later you have in mind? Satan often lie to people that there is time. Your time and my time are in the hand of God and He alone know what time we have left on this side of eternity.
For God sake, and for the sake of your wife and children, take a stock of your life and see that you have paid more than you have gained on this sinful adventure that you have been on. Perhaps your family ought to have been in a house you built but your adventure has drained you financially. Spiritually also, you have died long ago. That is why Satan is afflicting you, your business (or career) and your innocent family.
Let me ask you some pertinent questions: What is it that is wrong with your wife that gives you comfort in the hands of a strange lady? What is it that the single lady has that your wife does not have? Which sinful friends have lured you into this terrible misadventure? If you can answer these questions truthfully, you will be able to come to yourself like the prodigal son in the parable of the prodigal son in the Bible.
SO, WHAT DO I DO?
- Break the relationship immediately by having a frank discussion with the lady (or the man) and let her (or him) know you want an end to the relationship. After that no more calls. No more texting or emails. No more communication of any kind.
- Ask God to forgive you. God is willing to forgive sin provided you have repented in truth and in deed.
- Begin to fellowship again with God and with the brethren in a Bible teaching church.
- Accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Saviour and you will be saved from that time onward provided you don’t go back to your old ways
- When you become Born Again, the Spirit of God in you is activated and the Spirit will Help your infirmed heart and guide your step as you relate with Him.
Some ignorant people say; ‘’What you don’t know cannot hurt you’’ but I say to you that what you don’t know can hurt you if it has not already been hurting you! Your wife may not be aware of your escapades but unknowingly she is paying for what she did not know. The time, attention and the resources you have denied her are some of what she has paid for unknowingly. If your wife (by extension, your family) has paid unknowingly, you can be rest assured that you are the biggest looser of the three of you; your wife (and family in general), your lady in perdition and you are the third person in the equation.
CANDID ADVISE TO MARRIED WOMEN
Many married women expose their husbands to the lure of the Jezebels in town by;
1. Your conduct, attitude and behaviour generally to your husband. You know he is a Christian and so you think he cannot do sinful things. I need to let you know that every man has a breaking point no matter how influential or anointed.
2. Continous rejection of his request for sex is a very dangerous thing to do. Men like sex and so you must give him what he wants and how he wants it to keep your marriage. If you are stressed, agree and reason together on what is convenient for both of you. A sex starved man is like a man pressed to weee. Some people can’t hold the call of nature for too long.
3. Give your husband good food. Cook what he likes to eat not what you like to eat all the time.
4. Why discuss your husband with your single friends, single acquaintances or colleagues? Why keep many single friends when you are married? Your single friends can lure your husband out of your home. Why? They want what you have. All those gist about how you went to America, Dubai etc with your spouse are totally unnecessary. You don’t need to impress anybody with your husband’s wealth!
5. Please deliberately dress well. Use wet lipstick. Braid your hair and do pedicure or manicure that will keep him at home if that is what he wants.
Who will pay? He should pay for you to look good if he is responsible and can afford it!
6. Keep your spouse in prayer. Keep praying for your spouse. The prayer of a spouse is as potent as the prayers of a parent on the child. I pray your labour will never be in vain.
Please keep your spouse. Treat him as king, so he won’t be tempted if someone else outside treat him as such. A wise woman builds her home but a foolish woman throws away what is hers!!
I look forward to reading your feedback. Please put up a comment below and ask me any question on anything that you need clarification on. Your comments on this blog can be treated as confidential if you don’t want it published.
Still Yours Sincerely on this Platform
Adegboyega ILORI is a prolific writer. You can buys varieties of his books at;
1. Book Affairs- Bookshop, opposite MKO Gardens, Alausa Ikeja- +2347067432447 (Major distributor)
2. LRA Bookshop, plot 4 Akilo Road Ogba
3. CRM Bookshop, Km 46 RCCG Redemption camp Lagos Ibadan Expressway
4. Laterna Ventures, Plot 13A Oko Awo Street, Victoria Island Lagos